Penn Badgley is opening up about battling physique dysmorphia in his childhood.

The 38-year-old You and Gossip Woman actor says that he was by no means formally identified by a physician, however he is aware of that he struggled with adverse ideas about his physique all through his childhood.

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“I do know that I hated my physique and easily needed a unique one,” Penn instructed The Guardian, including that he gained weight whereas coping with his dad and mom’ divorce.

Penn says that he needed to appear to be the boys he noticed in films and acknowledged “that simply appeared like an impossibility.” He additionally mentioned what it was wish to turn into an actor himself.

“There was only a interval the place, popping out of despair and isolation, I used to be leaping willfully into, but in addition being thrust into, this world the place the extra conventionally lovely I appeared, the extra profitable I could be, the extra worth I may need,” Penn mentioned. “There’s no solution to get previous the superficiality of this work, and in the event you acknowledge that, you’ll be able to’t assist however acknowledge the superficiality of our tradition, due to the way in which it rewards this work.”

Watch the trailer for season 5 of Penn‘s present You.